I use to be much more of a saver. I'm finding as I get older and more practical I can let go of certain things easier. I cleaned out my closet the other week. Four large garbage bags later I felt lighter, relieved, and refreshed. Rude awakening, it was. I was holding on to skirts and pants about 3 sizes smaller than I currently wear, "I know I'll get back into these someday."
Yeah right.
I then went about the house with a box, filling it with useless or unused items. I mean how many vases do I need ?? I never get flowers. Sorry Clicker but you know it's true. I saved one vase for Jessica, (she and her boyfriend are still in the romance stage).
I opened boxes that I've managed to lug from house to house since I was first married. Must-have's of long ago are the trash of today. Time to purge my junk to make room for other's junk! (Thrift Shopping has become my passion.) But not just junk, useful, purposeful junk that I can make my own, craft into something else, paint or just enjoy in the right spot in my home. I'm just not interested in my own junk anymore.
I even tackled the garage. I was on a roll. I felt good! Energized. I organized a spot for garage sale items. Yes, my first garage sale will be upon us very shortly. The chance to rid myself of my rubbish and make a whopping $30 in the process excites me! Yes the bargain hunter, dumpster diva that I am will be on the other side of the table shortly. Haggling for the other team.
I can't explain the feeling of joy that overcame me just knowing I'll be rid of all these useless things. My closet was clean! I kept going back and opening the door. Smile. Close the door. Shelves were organized. Laundry room organized. I couldn't believe how marvelous I felt during this purging process.
And then it hit.
Jessica's Room. (da da dummmmmmm...)
My euphoria came to a screeching halt.
I stood at her door. My face blank. Silence all around me. Bottom lip quivering. Tears welled up a little. In the midst of my newly cleaned and organized home was this landfill. This dumping ground for clothing and 'stuff'. As if a laundry truck exploded in there. This kid saves everything. You can barely enter the room without tripping, you certainly dare not enter in the dark. Somehow it's inconceivable to me that this flawless, perfectly put together, beautiful girl emerges daily from this room.
Why do we keep things thinking we'll always need them later on? I kept things with the thought that someday ,when I'm older, I'll want to see them, I'll enjoy the nostalgia. Well....... I'm older, and I still couldn't care less. I rummaged through these articles, remembered the times when it was important, then tossed it.
For me... I feel liberated. As for Jessica....... well, I've decided to find it charming.
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