Clickers

Since my divorce I have come to realize a few things.

I am not a long-termer. I am picky, anal retentive and definitely need my down time.

I'm big on down time.

So far, since my divorce I dated extensively for roughly 3 years. At the tail end of my serial dating came the man that since stayed with me.

For all intents and purposes, we'll just call him The Clicker.

The Clicker and I have had a wonderful relationship. We've been together almost 6 years now. Six years for Anal Retentive is a long time.

Let's veer off the path a bit and examine the "Anal Retentive" personality, shall we?

Some of the Anal Retentive habits I have are as follows:

-If I see something that strikes me as in the wrong position I have to move it, even if it's on a store shelf.

-I have to sleep with my sheet neatly folded over the blanket and comforter in a straight line.

-I cringe when someone says "Setember" or "Febuary" or "Valentime's Day". Say Liberry instead of Library and I stop breathing for 8 seconds.

-Gobs of toothpaste in the sink irritate me.

-People who brush their teeth and spit on the faucet... perhaps brushing their teeth in the bathtub is the answer if the sink isn't big enough.

-Pictures hung on the wall should be straight and not meant to be viewed only by those 8 ft tall and over.

-The seemingly countless number of remotes I have must be placed in an orderly fashion on the coffee table when the TV is turned off for the night.

-I flush any public toilet with my foot.

-I hate it when people put their napkins on their plate when they finish a meal.

-Further to that, when dining at a restaurant I wont let them take my napkin until I am ready to leave.

-Clutter. Clutter agitates me.

and the list goes on, but I'll end this with ...Clickers.

Who are clickers? People with severe fidget-itis.

Pen clickers. Bottle fidgeting, finger tapping, toe tapping, TV remote fidgeters, ring spinners, hair twirlers, CLICKERS.

The Clicker, (and I love him dearly) is an acute Clicker.

He loves crosswords and sudoku puzzles. He grabs any stray newspaper he can get his hands on and frantically searches for the puzzle page. This, of course, means he has a pen in his hand at any given moment.

HIM:

With pen in hand.....

**click on** **click off** **click on** thinking of answer **click off** **click on** jotting down answer **click off**

ME:

Grinding my teeth.

HIM:

**click on** ** click off**

ME:

Grinding my teeth and rolling my eyes.

HIM:

**click on** .....

ME:

Grabbing the pen, flinging it across the room.

Am I perfect ? Hardly! I have so many faults and flaws my imperfections drives the perfectionist in me insane.

I suppose it's because of all my own shortcomings that I have no room for anyone elses.

As for My Clicker, he's wonderful in every other way.