Thursday, May 7, 2009

What If ?

What if cars had built in Breathalyzers?

What if your refrigerator made your shopping list for you?

What if your car had feelings and actually caught a cold in the winter?

What if you heard your GPS voice huff and puff every time you made a wrong turn?

What if phones had monitors, would you ever answer it?

What if your kitchen cupboards were all mini dishwashers and you could just put dirty dishes back and have them washed where they came from?

What if we could invent a lawn that didn't grow but stayed green?

What if a marriage license was only good for 4 years like a drivers license?

What if mobile phones had Breathalyzers to prevent phone calls from Ex's at 3 am?

What if buses and subways had "sick" areas so all the infected people could cough and sneeze on each other and not spread their germs?

What if you could control your spouse with a remote control?

What if the Government just printed out more money and gave some to everyone?

What if you could pick the perfect hair day and hit a stop button to have it look like that forever?

What if we could sleep hanging upside down to reverse gravity and aging?

What if Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become -

What if Federal Express and UPS merge to become - FED UP?

What if Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become - Honey I'm Home?

*Ok, enough of that....

What if all parents cars had Taxi meters in them?

What if you talk to your plants and get an answer back?

What if all roads had a second level so that all trucks could drive on the bottom?

What if all vehicles were made of a flexible plastic that just bounced right back after an accident?

What if the Coyote actually bought food instead of all those ACME products?

What if Grey Poupon and Docker Pants merged to become- Poupon Pants?
(I had to)

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